Parenting on the run - Part Three
Communication Tips to get your Child to Cooperate
For most of us life is incredibly busy and whilst we have good intentions about reading that book, or attending that parenting course, we simply can’t find the time. Parenting is often portrayed as a fine art and yet in many ways, uncomplicated pragmatic action can make such a difference.
I find the best way to test out an idea is to play with it. See if these ideas resonate with you, have a go and observe what happens.
Try to avoid the word BUT – Replace it with an AND
If we say ‘You came to the table straight away, but look at the way you are sitting now!’ the BUT totally negates the first part of the sentence.
However, when we say ‘You came to the table straight away and let’s see you sitting beautifully too!’ our child is praised AND motivated to achieve two things instead of just one.
BUT does work Wonderfully with a NO Though!
Sometimes a firm ‘NO’ followed by a ‘YES’ (on the parents’ terms) can make a no so much easier to accept.
Try changing ‘No you can’t have sweets before tea!’ to ‘No sweets before tea BUT you can on Saturday’.
Catch them being good
If you train your eyes and ears to notice when they are being good and specifically comment on it ‘You got started with your homework straight away, well done,’ a virtuous spiral often emerges.
When children subconsciously know they get more attention for positive behaviour than negative – Hey presto – they produce more positive behaviour!
Brief Periods of Quality Time can be SO Effective
If when your child approaches you, you are able to briefly stop what you are doing, make eye contact and take a couple of minutes to discuss what they are doing, the effects on their behaviour and your relationship can be remarkable. It is counterintuitive I know, but parents who try this approach often notice that their children become far less demanding and that their time together is much more enjoyable.
Why not Take a Team SKY Approach?
Team SKY cycle team are a wonderful example of how small adjustments create marginal gains that can ripple out to huge effect – Have fun, play with some of these ideas, maybe try one at a time – I’d love to hear how you get on!